I’ve just been having one of those weeks, really.
I had a particularly rough weekend, if I’m honest. My relationship with one of my best friends came to an end; my boyfriend broke up with me on Saturday. Some of you may be able to empathise, in which case I’m both sorry and happy for you. Sure it’s hard to transition, but if it’s the healthiest thing for you then who knows how this could help better enable you to enter into the amazing things God has for you. And if you can only sympathise then yay I’m glad you haven’t had to go through a break-up! :D
Yesterday I lost my phone. It was so terrifying and yet so funny. I keep losing things, special mementos, phones, boyfriends… :L I got home from campus (it’s about a half an hour walk), and then I realised that I didn’t have my phone after a panicked search of my room and my bag. I grabbed only my house keys and ran out the front door. I ran all the way to campus, looking slightly odd because I had the technique, but not exactly the right kit (I was wearing a skirt).
First port of call was the Student Information Desk, where they also hold lost property. Surprise, surprise, they did not have my phone! xD Then I ran to the lecture theatre and searched some more. I couldn’t find it. At this point I was just so fed-up, after what had happened on Saturday and now this! I kind of collapsed on the stairs in the room and cried out to God. And it was at that moment I realised where I was going wrong. Despite all that had happened, my relationship with God had grown cold; I hadn’t been talking to Him so much. I didn’t even pray to my heavenly Father after my 10-month relationship ended! :/ Never mind the relationship with my boyfriend, this was something that I needed to invest in and work on strengthening.
Another relationship I apparently need to mend is the one with myself. Part of the reason he felt it was right for our relationship to end was that I needed to be freed to learn to love myself and get to know myself properly, because “how can you start to love yourself if you are expected to love me as well?” Of course this is something I aspire to do.
I want to love myself and be free of my ‘demons’. But, if I’m honest, it is something which I have distanced myself from, the idea is something I think will be fulfilled ‘one day’, far into the future. But maybe I should be doing more to achieve it now, today. Where can I start? I have decided to write some posts about self-love, focusing on a different challenging aspect of this in each post.
God bless you xoxox
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you’re stronger
Stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining ♫♫♫