Life, just a collection of habits?

It can be too easy to let yourself be sucked into the hustle and bustle of daily routines that you forget to actually live. I’ve found my first term of my second year of uni has gone so quickly, I can barely believe it’s over. Seems strange to be back in the family home again, with my formerly familiar patterns, routines, and structure surrounding me, and seeming rather foreign now.

I love a good story. I’m not much good at telling them (I must practise more!), but I feel like I need to constantly do things that are worthy of being repeated. I have certainly been living more in the present moment this term, which is probably why this term has sped by. The fun times I’ve had, the people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting and even the studies I’ve stressed over, have all combined to create this fantastic time I have on the whole enjoyed very much. ^_^ Not saying I’ve enjoyed it all, there have been plenty of days that I’ve felt like poop, or when I’ve been so stressed by my subject or personal life complications; there have been days I’ve almost given up, and I know there will always be days like that to come, but I can still be grateful for the rainy days because that’s how plants grow, and make the most of living on the better, more sunny days.

Dealing with depression and anxiety on a daily basis, I have learned that it’s important to make the most of the times you feel okay. You never know when it’s going to hit, what seemingly harmless comment or image online can cause your mind to be flooded with a torrent of horrible thoughts without a moment’s notice. I am also trying to learn to not give the thoughts so much leeway in my mind, which is not a simple task. Sometimes when the torrents have begun their rampage, I feel helpless to stop it, it’s as if I’m a passenger in my own mind, with no control over what is happening. And I guess it’s like water really. When water flows, over time some routes will be eroded and as the water has flowed that way multiple times, it is more likely to next time. And so it is with thoughts, if you are in the habit of thinking in a certain way then next time you’ll be more likely to think that way, so you need to make a conscious effort to change your thinking patterns. Other times, I am more in control and I will say a prayer or repeat a bible verse to myself to break the cycle of negative thinking and get my mind away from that negativity.

Life is just a collection of habits really, new and old. Habits you’re trying to break and the new ones we try and sometimes succeed to introduce into our lives, our routines. “Creatures of habit” is a phrase I often use, if there’s something that has always been done, then people like to use that as an argument to keep doing it. To be fair, that is not always a bad idea, but it’s also part of the reason people go to war. I am still not sure what my stance is on the UK bombing Syria. The problem is it is not a solution, two wrongs don’t make a right, and I fear that through this we are only pouring fuel on the fire, creating more and more conflict. In the bible it says, “If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you” (Proverbs 25:21-22) So, the answer is to love them, so they think about the possible error of their way. And yet, what if they haven’t wronged you, but others who are more vulnerable perhaps? Then it gets tricky, I know I’m just rambling and throwing half-formed ideas out onto the internet, none of which haven’t already been thought. In fact, is there a single original thought to be had. I know there is, I’m just rambling and trying to sound philosophical. I’m gonna go now… xD

Much love, God bless youuuuu and have a lovely day ^_^ xoxox

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