Love yourself – X

Day 10: Things that make me happy

Sometimes when you’re struggling with depression, it can be really hard to find things that give you any sense of joy or pleasure. At times it’s impossible.

origami-lucky-stars-craftLast year I had an idea. I started writing things that I am grateful for on strips of paper and I folded them into stars, placing them in a jar. It didn’t last very long unfortunately :L But I am learning that although you may not always be fully in control of yourself all the time, you must make every effort during the times when you are  in your right mind to help the other, less balanced version of yourself. For example, I have a particular tendency to cope with emotional pain by inflicting pain on myself. Therefore, I need to avoid having anything around that I could use when I am feeling low. And there are other ways of helping yourself, such as making lists of things you’re grateful for, or things you sometimes (depending on your mood) enjoy. I am also in the process of assembling a ‘coping box’, with various resources in that could help me when I fear that I could cave, and cut myself. :/

One of my favourite tumblrs is 1000000 reasons to live, which lists loads of things which are great which you can’t enjoy if you’re not around. So please stay strong, keep fighting. ♡ (As much a note to myself, as you :L) I have been thinking a lot about suicide recently, to be honest. It’s only thoughts, I don’t think I’ll actually do anything. But it always starts like that, just thoughts, and then it becomes plans, and then reality. And I don’t want to do anything. I’ve come so far since October 2014 and I don’t want to be back in that place again. I need to make every effort to keep myself safe, as do you. :)

Anywho, things I enjoy/that make me happy:

♡ Cuddles from my friends :3

♡ Caramel Lattes from Costa ;)

♡ When I do well academically

♡ Looking through (funny) photos and videos and remembering the memory (I did this the other day to keep the demons in my mind at bay and ended up going to bed smiling :))

♡ The Mini/Yellow car game (When you see a Mini or a yellow car, you punch your friends and say “Mini/yellow car, no returns” xD)

♡ Making wishes at 11:11 ( I love doing this. I’m not at all superstitious, but I always do this and tell others to do so also, and make sure they don’t tell anyone what they wished for because it ‘doesn’t count otherwise’ xD)

♡ Finding people you can be yourself with, even if you don’t necessarily tell them everything, you don’t have to hold back in being who you are.

♡ Being all snug during the winter with hot chocolate, blankets and (preferably also) someone to cuddle ^_^

♡ Bonfires on the beach :D (One of my favourite pastimes, ever! :3)

♡ Bagelllsssss :)))) (The onion ones, toasted, spread with butter :D)

♡ Dominoesssssssss :D (The pizza that is, not the game ;) The Saturday night ritual in our uni house is takeaway, usually but not exclusively dominos pizza :3 Veggie Supreme nomnomnom xD)

♡ Skimming stones at the beach

♡ My cuuuute lil 4 year old nephew ^_^

♡ Going out with friends and dancing the night away :D

♡ Chocolates, eating them and making them xD

♡ Surprising people with little gifts which light up their faces and brighten up their day :)

♡ Swinging as high as you possibly can and pretending to be 10 years old again in the play park

♡ Candles

♡ Walking barefoot through the grass

♡ Going camping

♡ Eating cookie dough/cake mix off the spoons

♡ Rainbows

♡ Finishing a book :D (Not that this happens very frequently…so when it does, it’s more of an accomplishment!)

♡ The crunch each step makes in the autumn leaves

♡ Shooting stars!! ☆☆☆ (Whenever I stargaze, I always hope I’ll see one-I rarely do :L)

♡ Collecting seashells, pretty stones and smooth glass when you visit the beach (Every. Single. Time. Although in my defence it is the only thing I hoard xD)

And there are probably lots more things, I just have to make every effort to not let depressed me forget, or ignore these wonderful things.

Stay strong, God bless xoxox

♥Love yourself

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