Day 12: A physical flaw of mine and why it’s a good thing
“It’s okay to not be perfect all the time” she tells me.
“No, no it’s not. I have to be perfect. Or no one will like me otherwise. I need to be skinnier and prettier.”
“You really think that me and the others, your friends, don’t like you already, or would love you any more if you were ‘perfect’? Besides we are all perfectly flawed.”
I shrug, “Hmm if you say so.”
Each of us is perfectly flawed. It is our flaws, our quirks, in our appearance which people grow to recognise us by, and love. ❤
It’s the sad truth that we each have things about us that we wish we could change. Some people dress a certain way to disguise certain parts of their body. Some of us wear makeup to cover the marks on our face, or the dark circles under our eyes which we are taught is just not acceptable. And some of us struggle to eliminate any visible body hair because we’ve always been told we should be ashamed of it. And it’s not right and it’s not fair. For all we can blame society, or our parents, or the bullies, it’s down to us to make a stand and decide to love the way we look naturally, even if it seems like no one else does.
So what are my so-called flaws?
- Well I guess the obvious one would be the scars I carry. They represent pain, yes, but they also represent a time I battled with the demons in my mind. Although it would be better if they never existed, it’s better to have scars than a grave, which is an alternative ending to the tale that each of these scars tell. From my experiences has developed a deeper understanding and awareness of other people’s struggles and the battles that each of us fights every day. I can see people struggling in similar, or different ways to myself with a stronger sense of compassion than if I had not tasted this pain myself.
- My thighs are covered in stretch marks, which I like to think of as mini lightning strikes on my skin.
- I have more body hair than I am comfortable with, but hey, it means my legs are kept warm ;)
- I have some pudge (although there are certain people who’d say I need more :L) which means that although I still feel the cold more than most, my Raynaud’s phenomenon occurs less frequently and is less severe when it does compared to, say, a year or so ago, when I was restricting a lot :/ and was quite a bit thinner. :/ Now, when I look in the mirror, I am not seeing myself through the same eyes I used to, but I see a beautiful, (slightly) curvy body. And I feel sexy.
You know, I’m so happy with how far I have come with regards to my body image. I never would have thought I’d feel content with how I look, as I do now. Of course, I still have days when I don’t really want to look in the mirror because I don’t like what I see. But those days are becoming fewer and farther between as time goes on. I wish I could say the same about how I feel about myself as a person, about my personality and the ways that my mind works, but hey ho I guess it’s a journey and I haven’t quite reached that destination yet. :)
Remember, you are perfectly flawed, God crafted you with care, love and attention. He does not make mistakes.
Stop calling ugly what He says is beautiful.
Much love, God bless you xoxox