I’m a middle child. You can find so many articles on why it’s good or bad according to certain people, or how your birth order affects your personality.
Apparently firstborns are meant to be more achievement-oriented and competitive, whilst the youngest child is supposedly more attention-seeking, and creative, leaving the middle child literally in the middle, often as the family peace-keeper. To be honest, a lot of people can be sceptical about this, but it’s certainly true in my family. (somewhat anyway!)
It’s true it’s not always great being in the middle, some of my emotional issues probably stem from not having quite as much attention from my parents growing up. Note to reader: if you want to have enough time for all your kids, don’t have 5!!
Some of you may look down on hand-me-downs, but I thought it was great, I got all my sister’s cool clothes for free! Also, arguably parents are most harsh with the middle child, as the first child is kind of a parenting experimenting cos they don’t know what they’re doing and then by the time the youngest one comes along, the rules which they’ve come up with have been slightly worn down from child to child and they could basically get away with murder… But then again, if they don’t give me enough attention, how would they realise that I’m breaking all their rules anyway ;) I’ve also heard some people say they didn’t feel as important as their older sibling as they were they first person to learn to walk and talk, go to school, and uni, and to get married etc etc etc, whilst their younger sibling was the last person to be doing those special things, so they didn’t feel as important, or special when they were at those stages of their life.
You hope that parents will learn to not show favouritism, although the truth is all parents have their favourites and no matter how hard they try to be impartial, their preferences always show through. (Credit where it’s due though, my parents have always been pretty good at not showing favouritism)
The first benefit of being the middle child is my independence. I sure as hell wouldn’t be as able as I am if I weren’t the middle one. There have been struggles I’ve not felt able to chat to my parents about, and I have managed to get through it basically on my own, which wasn’t easy, but the struggle of trying to survive by myself meant that I gained the valuable skills to help me through other issues in life! I’m so much happier in myself because I made the decision myself to put in the effort and the hard work, rather than being pushed to by my parents.
Being in the middle, means always having someone looking up to you, but also having someone I can also look up to and go to for advice which isn’t my mum or dad (sometimes you just don’t want to tell them certain things). This is pretty nice because it brings a sense of responsibility without the fear of ruining someone’s life.
I used to get blamed for things sometimes by my siblings, which sucked, but it also forced me to stand up for myself and also helped me grow a thick skin, so I can better deal with criticism or people thinking wrongly about me (although I still care too much what other people think!)
I am not the most competitive of people, you’d think me a pretty chilled out person if you met me, but when I care, I care. Once that competitiveness is switched on, I am going to win, even if it ends in broken limbs.
All in all it doesn’t count for shit if you’re the oldest, or youngest or in between, all that matters is who you want to be and what you decide you want to aim for in life. Nothing is certain, definitely not from birth.
Any thoughts on this? Let me know down in the comments :) xxx